tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5397103.post4512200792913516604..comments2024-01-02T18:05:23.666-06:00Comments on Streak's Blog: Open letter to Franklin GrahamStreakhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01443433745929880701noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5397103.post-79537767654271682742012-02-27T19:03:00.060-06:002012-02-27T19:03:00.060-06:00And the LORD said unto Gary:
"Go forth into ...And the LORD said unto Gary:<br /><br />"Go forth into all the world, and preach the good news to every creature. Specifically, the gospel that they love sin and promote evil, and are not My followers. They will make mock and revile you, and later I will roast them forever in the fires of Hell for their insolence. That'll be wicked awesome, bro."<br /><br />Gary replied unto the LORD:<br /><br />"O LORD, did you just call me 'bro'?"<br /><br />The LORD said unto Gary:<br /><br />"Uh, what? No, I said, uh, I said GROW. Grow your contempt for everyone who isn't a Christian until it overpowers you. Protip: If you see someone who claims to be a Christian, they're not. Except you, 'cause you're my number one follower. I can tell by your 'I <3 the LORD' t-shirt. Fear the gear, bro."<br /><br />Gary once again replied unto the LORD:<br /><br />"LORD, I'm pretty sure you just called me 'bro' again. Also, are you sure about this contempt thing? It doesn't seem like a very wholesome idea."<br /><br />The LORD was then wroth with Gary, and said:<br /><br />"Hey, uh, narrator, could I get a definition of wroth?"<br /><br />You're don't know what 'wroth' means? Are you sure you're the LORD?<br /><br />"It's been a long day, jackass. I just failed a midterm because I was too hung over to study. Uh...I mean, I just got finished raising myself from the dead...after the failure of my death, hung on a cross over Golgotha...in the middle of the, uh, term of the first century. Just humor me?"<br /><br />Fine. 'Wroth' means angry. You are angry with Gary when you reply.<br /><br />"Gotcha. Gary, question me not, for I am the LORD! If I tell you to despise others, you must obey me. Contempt makes you strong. Anger, fear, aggression: the dark side are they. The LORD's side."<br /><br />Gary replied unto the LORD:<br /><br />"LORD, I dress myself in sackcloth and ashes at speaking to you yet once more, but I still cannot help but notice that you are sounding an awful lot like Yoda."<br /><br />The LORD replied:<br /><br />"Sounding like Yoda I am not! You'd better just do what I say, or I'll have some random douchebag steal your blogger credentials and sully your good name posting comments that make YOU sound like an asshole."<br /><br />Gary replied one last time:<br /><br />"You know, maybe you'd better go do that. Because you sound more like someone pledging a bad fraternity than an actual deity. Have fun."<br /><br />So Gary went his way, and the LORD in turn stole his credentials and posted comments that made Gary sound like a giant toolbag.leightonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07821884432248870789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5397103.post-71129378144557261502012-02-27T15:49:53.828-06:002012-02-27T15:49:53.828-06:00hah. Well, to be fair, the first line was "b...hah. Well, to be fair, the first line was "burned american flags--its what's for breakfast!"Streakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01443433745929880701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5397103.post-57226696920481757632012-02-27T09:35:47.645-06:002012-02-27T09:35:47.645-06:00You both love sin and promote evil.
Act 1, Scene ...<i>You both love sin and promote evil.</i><br /><br />Act 1, Scene 1<br />Streak Household<br />6:30 a.m., breakfast<br /><br />S.O.F.: What's for breakfast this morning, dear?<br />Streak: Aborted fetuses.<br />Both: [maniacal laughter]<br />Streak: No, seriously, just some Cap'N Crunch. I like it because the character reminds me of Admiral Nelson, who loved sin and cheated on his wife with a hot Italian mistress. That's like a three-fer - sin in general, adultery, unprotected fornication with a married "exotic" woman of questionable genetics...<br />S.O.F.: Well in that case, pass the Cap'N right on over!<br />Both: Woo hoo! Sin for breakfast!<br /><br />Seriously, Gary. I can't imagine what you folks in the knuckle-dragger squad think goes on in normal households every day, but the notion that there are people who wake up in the morning just a-rearin' for some sinnin' is so mockable that I considered, just to reinforce your sentiment as a joke, actually just cutting-and-pasting your comment as my own.Noahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14345059376742159966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5397103.post-90114023291678051732012-02-27T07:45:18.886-06:002012-02-27T07:45:18.886-06:00Whatever, dude. And the question for you still re...Whatever, dude. And the question for you still remains. Why are you still reading such and evil blog, and why do you interact with a person who writes an evil blog?Streakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01443433745929880701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5397103.post-66437801752868116262012-02-27T07:22:36.374-06:002012-02-27T07:22:36.374-06:00I don't know if obama is muslim, but I do know...I don't know if obama is muslim, but I do know that obama is NOT a Christian. Streak, you are not a Christian either. You both love sin and promote evil.Garyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08574147787996161877noreply@blogger.com