Forgiveness.


What the hell is this?

I grew up in a church, and in a church-going family.

I heard about forgiveness my entire life.

I still don't know what it means.

In most situations, this is what it seemed like. Person A did something bad to Person B. According to the church, Person B was supposed to, no FORCED to forgive. No choice involved. I am fine with that, but I still don't know what it means? In this above scenario, it often worked out as Person B giving up any future right to every complain about Person A. To do so would mean that Person A could pull out that chit and say "hey, you can't criticize me anymore. You already forgave me."

I am dealing with this for a reason. Tough stuff, no need for details here. But one person has asked me if I can forgive, and I don't know what that means. Am I holding a grudge? Not really. I am observing a situation where the behavior that I am most grieved by continues. In many ways, it is more disappointment than resentment or grudge. I am disappointed that good people continue to act in ways I find unhealthy. I am trying to keep my perspective here. The asking if I can forgive seems more about control than about forgiving a grievance.

What I do know about forgiveness is that it is often more about me than the person I am supposed to forgive. If I resent people, I am the one who hurts.

Anyway...