Bars and magic

Brandon over at Badchristian mused about what makes bars better than churches. I kind of agree, though with one caveat. I have experienced the same kind of exclusivism and backstabbing that we all hate about church. Some of my former friends have treated me about as bad at our favorite bar as I was ever treated in a church.

But that isn't Brandon's point and his post reminded me of a story from Robert Fulghum's Everything I needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten. I read that book a long time ago (and need to pull it out sometime) and remember a couple of essays that really worked. One was about raking leaves, but the other one was (I think) called "Bar Story." In that one, he describes the kind of loose and honest experience that can happen in a good bar. The alcohol is only one part of the magic--the connections and honesty of the people is the biggest part.

I remember a wedding in Colorado. My cousing was married outdoors at about 8,000 feet. His wedding party rode in on horses and the bridal party came in a horse-drawn wagon. There was a keg of beer and barbecue. A country band started up and the dancing began. It was mostly stilted and awkward at first. Then we had one of those Colorado summer showers that are so common in the mountains. Only rained for 20 minutes, but everyone stopped and headed for cover until the rain lifted. The band started back up and something magical happened with that rain. The dancing after that was real. My folks danced with a kind of pleasure I hadn't seen in a long time. Others took to the dusty yard. It was truly magical.

My family has some problems with alcohol, and that was there too. I have seen that ugly part in bars, of course. But I don't think I have ever felt that kind of magic in a church setting. Never that kind of gleeful honesty where you see people being so clearly themselves.