Monday, feh!

I didn't blog much over the weekend. Part of that due to the fact that Friday was a sucky day. Started out bad and only got worse. I won't go into all the details of all the suckiness, but the day ended badly when I went to get the mail.

Caleb blogged a few months ago about how tough the job market is for historians. Real historians, that is. People who are expected to do research and teach. So, anyway, the market being what it is, I apply annually for abotu 10-15 jobs nationally that fit a couple of criteria. They have to be in a location that we can stomach for living; it needs to be a full time job; and then there are the professional qualifications. If you are trained in environmental and western history, for example, applying for diplomatic history jobs or women's history is a fool's errand. These apps take time--hell everyone knows about that. That part of the application process is universal.

So, anyway, I applied last fall for several jobs. 2 months ago, I scored a phone interview. I didn't think it went that well, but a week later I got an email asking me to visit the campus. I had about three weeks to agonize over the visit--worked up both a guest lecture and research presentation. My research talk, if I do say myself, rocked. One of my colleagues here, who is known to be the department's harshest critic, praised it as one of the best talks she had ever heard. I take that as a compliment and take it to my campus visit.

The visit was weird. The first day, I had to give my guest lecture in a classroom and I watched one of the faculty members visibly reacting (negatively) to some of the factual information I presented. She not only reacted, but talked to the faculty member next to her in a way, that if this were my class, and they students, I would have stopped the class to ask them what the problem was. But I am on an interview and on my best behavior. I ignore them and proceed speaking to the sleeping students.

The rest of that day was fine--just long. Meeting all these different people, administrators, students, etc. Typical stuff. Tiring, but typical. The next morning, I give my kick ass research talk. They are polite and act interested, but it is clear that research is a real small part of their job. In other words, they don't really care that my research is interesting and provacative (and it is, I don't care what certain people say). After the job talk, I endure yet another group interview with all the faculty. They ask only about teaching and I answer the questions as best I can. The same faculty member who was rude in my lecture does the same fucking thing in my interview--responding to one of my answers visibly and audibly and digging the same other jackass faculty in the ribs as she did it. One chair away from me. Then I had to act nice while a guy 6 years younger than me with no more publications than me on his cv asks me condescending questions about my teaching style.

I left the campus pissed off and not at all sure that I would accept a job offer that I was positive they wouldn't extend. My last question to them was about the time frame for the job search. They said 2 weeks top.

Last Friday was 6 weeks to the day of my last interview with these people. In the mail, I recieved a form letter. "Thanks for your interest in our position for fall, 2005. We had many qualified applicants and the search took longer than we expected, but we have extended an offer and it has been accepted."

Lame, lame lame. Unprofessional. Horribly rude. I deserved better than to be jerked around by such assholes. I am better off not being in this department, that is clear, but the process was painful. After all that, they couldn't even muster a phone call or email OR PERSONALIZED LETTER to me!

I know, I know. It happens. I have lost jobs before. Lost one last year. But at least last year, the Dean called me personally to tell me they had gone a different direction and to tell me how much she liked me and my presentation. I can live with that sting. This one hurts in a much different way.

I will be fine. Rejection happens. It happened a few different ways on Friday alone. I am stronger than I was years ago, and will manage just fine, thank you. And I do mean, thank you. I have great friends. I have a great partner. We planted a tree on Saturday as a nice affirming "f-you" to a certain school in a certain state. We planted a little vegetable garden and shared a beer with our neighbors. We will be fine.