Christian stores

Both Greg, Ben and Brandon have addressed this issue recently. There seems to be an uptick in both Christian MegaSuperBookstores and even small bookstores within Church campuses. Of course, in Houston, there is a McDonalds on a church property, so perhaps the bookstore looks innocuous by comparison.

I think the central question is: Can Christianity be sold just like any other trend and fad? If so, is that good?

I posed this question to my Baptist friend and he said that there was nothing wrong with the Christian Bookstores. But what about the shopping baskets filled with geegaws and trinkets, asks me. He says, so you prefer plaques and statuettes that are maybe Satanic? So, there is nothing wrong with bibles for pregnant women or Promise Keepers, says me. He responds, so you would begrudge a person buying another Bible even if they read it and use it?

I think I am not communicating here, AND possibly channeling Fafnir in the process. So, just for grins, I went to crossings.com (not recommended) and just surfed their bibles. Here are a few titles: CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL® BIBLE, which boasts: "Take a seat at the Lord’s table and warm your spirit with this special helping of Chicken Soup! Dozens of personal stories, both classic and new, are collected and applied to the Scriptures in this complete New Living Translation Bible. 1,664 pages." Or how about this one: HOLY BIBLE: ARMED SERVICES EDITION : "Created especially for those in military service, this 2,000-page paperback edition of the Good News Translation has a camouflage cover and fits in uniform pockets. Includes a guide to relevant Scripture, hymns, a concordance and more." Evidently, the regular bible not only makes you vulnerable to sniper attack, but is lacking critical anti-Iraqi verses. Then there is a Max Lucado devotional bible which supplements the classic ancient wisdom of the bible with "new material from Max Lucado's writings." WooHoo! Then there is an eBible, which includes "One-Click technology" that allows you to "create prayers lists, reports, word studies and more." They have an African American bible, a Crossings version "includes devotionals from Max Lucado, James Dobson, and so many, many more! 1,952 pages; words of Christ in red." Whew. Thought that some might confuse those guys.

But my favorites are the Thomas and Nanette Kinkade "Reflections from the Heart of God" "woman's devotional Bible" that includes the "art and wisdom of acclaimed artist Thomas Kinkade and his wife Nanette." Evidently, not only is it a bible, but collectible art! But Kinkade's famously ipecac inspired art isn't enough. The next one is called "Holy Bible: Woman Thou Art Loosed!" edited by T.D. Jakes. Am I the only one who thinks this one might be a little kinky? But no fear, this one combines "T.D. Jakes' words and God's Holy Scripture (NKJV)." And lastly, there is the NIV Mom's Devotional Bible. For the Mother who has only 52 weeks to ordain her motherhood with Godly goodness, there is only one Bible. In fact, if you are a mother and don't have this Bible, you might not be a Christian. Ok, I made that part up.

Sorry, but this is seriously messed up. I have no clue what the Bible really means, and have little desire to read it for some time. But how far are we from the Britney Spears version (hint: it is the sexy version) or perhaps Madonna could have one (The Holy Bible with the latest writings from the Material Girl! Jesus words in red, Madonna's in puce, 1,763 pages; $59.95!!!!).

That's it. I am going to Starbucks. I have no illusions about this consumerism. I am buying the coffee because my inner voices tell me to. But I know that inner voice is my own self--not T. D. Freaking Jakes combining his stupidity with some things supposedly inspired by God.

A latte. That is what I will have. Forthwith.