I promised some funny

I started reading John Hodgman's
The Areas of My Expertise: Books and it is truly funny. A couple of examples:

While discussing options for determining time if you don't have a watch (besides paying a Time Peddler, duh):

Using only the stones and twigs around you, it will take you exactly 120 minutes to construct a working sundial.

In another section, he discusses "Jokes that have never produced laughter" all of which he warns, should never be told. But one is actually funny. At least to me.

A duck goes into a pharmacy. He says to the pharmacist, "I need some ointment for my beak. It is very chapped." The pharmacist says, "We have nothing for ducks here."

I am sure I will have more later. His section on the Mall of America is priceless.

Here is John Hodgman On The Daily Show presenting his book.