May 9, 2005

Quite a day

I quit my job today.

Well, let me rephrase. I quit one of my jobs.

I had been working for our IT department. It once was a good job. But it hasn't been good for a while. Part of my grousing lately has been regarding that and wondering what I am going to do with my life.

McKormick left a comment that struck me as true, and blunt. You need to commit to your own measure of success and stick there. Decide what is a successful life to you and fuck the rest.

Exactly.

I think that much of this angst for me has to do with status and that anxiety that accompanies it. When I think about walking away from this job, my biggest fear lately has been how other people would take me walking away from a decent paying job to be adjunct--make less money, and have no real title--or office. All around me I see people gripped with that anxiety--some who take their job so seriously that it defines them, and others who have a fine life but see themselves as having no status in life.

That is a tough way to live, and one that I am battling. I don't want my life to be defined by the job title, or the amount of money I earned, or whatever. I would like it to be measured by making a difference in other's lives--of being a good friend and participant, of being thoughtful and considerate.

And you know what? My friends and family have been so good about this. My mother encouraged me to seek a job that fit me better. My friends have all been so helpful. Kind of suggests that I am on to something. Thanks to all of you. And thanks to all the bloggers who, though I may not recognize you on the street, I know are friends.

Anyway. If this doesn't work out, I will always have McKormick to blame. :)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow! brave work.

you can always blame me. i'll be the faceless name you hang your unemployment and bankrupcy on.

Brandon said...

best of luck, streak.

tm said...

I've been dealing with virtually the same thing over the past few months. When I step back and look at it, I realize it's totally fucking insane that I'd allow my decisions to be influenced by the status anxiety you point out.

Totally insane. It's a real relief, actually, knowing that someone else is dealing with the same damn issue.

If this doesn't work out, I will always have McKormick to blame.

I'm making you my faceless name to blame, too. Just a heads up!