Sometimes the Onion is just brilliant

NSA Wiretap Reveals Subject May Be Paying Too Much For Long-Distance | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "FORT MEADE, MD--The director of the National Security Agency announced at a press conference Tuesday that the ongoing phone surveillance of Cincinnati resident Greg Wyckham has yielded 'overwhelming and incontrovertible' evidence that the 37-year-old high-school teacher and married father of three is wasting money on a long-distance plan that does not suit his calling needs."