Why am I not in church?

JWS raised an excellent question yesterday when he asked about my view of the church. As he and Anglican remind me, there are a lot of people in "the" church who share my values. The Anglican church was not pro-war, and has been progressive on many issues I care about. The two here in town are active about poverty and social justice and are not just local meetings for the republican party, though I know some repubs attend both.

I too often refer to "the church" and really mean the conservative church. That is my past and I am trying to make sense of it. There is much positive there, and I am not badmouthing or dismissing the entire conservative church, but as my other posts reveal, I am annoyed with their political and social direction. JWS referred to it (perhaps tongue in cheek) as prophesying. I don't know about that, but I do see things that bother me about the conservative church.

Why don't I go to church? As in many things, this is a complicated question with a complicated answer. (You really didn't think I would answer this one simply, did you? :) ) I grew tired of church at some point. The last church I attended was SBC in Houston and it was actually everything I love and despise about church all in one building. This was an impressive church--one that refused to leave the inner city of Houston for the suburbs--that didn't have bowling alleys or health clubs or restaurants on their grounds (things that 1st and 2nd Baptist did). The church spent a lot of effort on helping the poor, and the sick. Before many in the SBC had figured this out, this church was active helping people with AIDS.

The pastor was a true intellectual. I went to meet with him and we discussed literature, history and philosophy. He had read widely and those references showed up in his sermons. He was one of those truly gifted speakers, who almost sang his sermons--weaving in thoughtful and in-depth insights not just on the Bible, but on other issues of the day.

He was a rarity in my mind, because one of the reasons I no longer attend a SBC church is the weight attached to the sermon. Greg reminds me that sermons have a place in our churches for people to speak prophetically. (That don't mean predicting the future, either, but speaking critically of the day). And I recognize that. I think, however, that centering a service around a 30+ minute sermon is, in most hands, mind numbing. And that was one of the reasons I stopped going. Listening to people drone on with largely redundant sermons started to really bug me. Only so much day dreaming I could do. I finally decided that I preferred my Sunday mornings a different way.

But what about the rest of church, you ask? Well, Sunday School as long as I can remember (with some exceptions) was more of a waste than church. I really would like to find the person who came up with the SS Quarterly and have a few words. That thing was pure crap. I never realized it growing up, but it is part and parcel of the dumbing down of the SBC church. No complex theology need apply, SS becomes like the Simpsons parodies it. Most questions can be answered with "love, Jesus," or possibly "Jesus loves."

Certainly along the way, there were some teachers who stepped outside that pabulum and taught interesting and engaging lessons, but those were the rarity. Even at this church in Houston, the ss class we first joined was about as mindless as possible. We loved all the other couples in the class and our teachers were so nice. But the class blew. I was just starting grad school at the time and was developing a short fuse for mindless talk. I finally found an alternative class where there were some real ideas bouncing around.

The other issue was political. Having always been a SBC person, we watched in horror as conservatives took over the SBC and proceeded to gut it. After talking to Bruce Prescott, I realize we were right at the epicenter of the resistance movement, but didn't realize it. When we left Houston, I had enough of that denomination and was right in the middle of grad school. At that point, I had lost interest and simply didn't have it in me to start again.

Ok, where am I now?

I have toyed with some local churches and most likely would be an Anglican if I were to attend. I am still trying to figure church out and determine what we are supposed to be or trying to do there. That is why I asked the worship question, and I am interested in what people think of prayer and even the purpose for church. I am not badmouthing those who go, but I haven't figured it out for me.

I think I will attend a church in the future. Let me say, however, that there are certain churches that need not apply (or visit).

1) not interested in a church that is built around a personality. I don't think that is the purpose of the church anyway, but when that person leaves, the church is usually hosed. This includes liberal churches. And while I am speaking on that, as much as I dislike most sermons, I want someone with theology training, not communication. This isn't a performance.

2) not interested in a church that is still arguing about the following things: women's equality, women pastors, or having men as head of the family. I am not saying you can't talk about those things, but I am done with it. I have spent far too much time around bright and thoughtful women (even married one) to tell women to submit or not speak. Like I said, if that is what you want, cool. But don't expect me to be interested. I don't want to change your church, but I won't be attending.

3) Likewise, if the discussion is still about innerrancy I am not interested.

4) I also don't really want to attend a church with the American flag next to the alter. I am a proud American (except when Bush speaks), but I don't like this combination. I think it is dangerous to both the church and our democracy. No pledge of allegiance, no pro-military celebrations, no Toby Keith (though I think that goes without saying).

5) while I am on a list of don'ts, here are a few more. No PowerPoint, no CCM (Contemporary Christian Music), no canned music, no crosses on rollers (really saw this in Texas).

In the meantime, I am still trying to figure out what Church is about. I have a pretty strong community around me--made all the stronger by the blogworld, I might add. I find contemplation in other areas, and can study theological issues on my own. I engage with other "believers" all the time. Like I said, I think I will be a part of a church in the future.